Hello every bod!

A short stop at home, soon to be a bloody great long stop at home.
A mate of mine (who has all R all of his shit in one sock) has just reminded me I could be outside in March. AAAAAGGGHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!! F'in AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!!!

I am SCREWED. Royally.

NO CV
NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE ONE
NO NEBOSH COURSE (thanks to central booking, elc being uptight knobs, resettlement in pompy being full of dick heads and of course my own poor diary and year planner settings).

FECK
FECK
FECK
FECK
FECK
FECK (*10,000,000)

Truley, if I don't win the lottery I am fcuk'd.


The pusser has had it's 22 years and now peeps like me (those smart chaps and chapessess who didn't want some more of the same BS and are leaving, time done), are left out to dry in a resettlement system that has not been updated financially in the last 15 years, who's staff are outdated and lack authority and support and are also under staffed but with the attitude of "I'm all right jack", "I've got my job".

As far as Central Booking are concerned, if you don't have wheels instead of feet, then they can take the piss without let or hindrance and place you just on the inner limit of "Fuck yousville" about an hour from where you need to be each morning, for retraining, going to court, having a meeting with your new boss, etc.
These people really are SCUM! Their job is not as taxing as it once was thanks to the invention of :-

• electricity
• brains
• road maps
• independent thought
• phones
• the ability not to be a twat
• the World Wide Web

Yet still it's a competition to see who can get you the furthest from where you need to be without going over, just like some Hell bound version of "the price is right". They all need/ NEED pointless deaths!

But not lets forget about all the limp wristed blokes who work for the ELC. The peeps who know the system inside out for getting your course paid for ( with money the individual has earned by dint of long service or by catching a bullet in their first few years of service), {myself it's long service, just lucky I guess}. It takes these incompetent chumps at least (a minimum of) 15 days to stamp a form and send it back, otherwise you don't get your course, but remember that they are alright jack.

It's not their fault. NO!

The same form has to be signed and stamped 6 times at 5 different locations (around the country), it's like "smart procurement" taken to the next level of incompetence. I HATE THEM ALL!!!

Happy Birthday Sib....

Here we go again.

Don't know how long the connection will last but at least I'm typing this indoors and not on a bench in the weather.

Right first things first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LITTLE SIS

Her birthday is this weekend and she'll be T*£%&(~@
Don't know what happened there, odd.
Anyway she'll never see this so I'll have to resort to sending her a birthday card and her Xmas present, a long boring story.


Serendipity, a wonderful thing.

This morning just before lunch a member of the Health and Safety team popped into the workshop, I saw the green hat from the other end of the shop and my heart sank, "not another bleedin' safety inspection!"
But no. He was here to see if they could use my workshop for some training, you know, let students on a H+S course pick the place apart. I didn't know weather to be flattered that they wanted to use us or scared in case they find something really bad (nobody is perfect and all that rot)
We agreed that they could come next Wednesday so as to give us some time to "mess up the place", yeah right! the only way it could get messier would be if a family of tornadoes lived in the place for the coming week. At least it should give us time to hide some of the more prosecutable things and to ensure that certain cupboards are firmly locked and certain keys are unaccountably missing (sorry guv' they was 'ere a moment ago, honest).
The next thing I asked the safety guy was if it would be possible to get some on the job training with his section as H+S is what I want to get into after I leave my current job in May this year. He said that he could do better than that, he could offer the training and a job as soon as my contract ran out. How cool was that?
Only one small bijou problemo, that being, when I leave I'll be going home to stay, home being a house I have barely lived in for the last 12 years up in the north of the country and the thought of commuting a few hundred miles each day quite frankly gives me the screaming things.


Next I showed him a pic of me standing next to a road sign that straddles the pavement in the yard, OK so what. Well the sign comes down as far as my nose (I'm 6' 1" in my socks), so you have to stoop under it or step into traffic to avoid it. Safety guy said He'd get FSL to get it sorted, I'll not hold my breath for this one.

So one visit and three things (nearly ) sorted out.

Right while I think on, lets get something straight.
Above is a pic of one of my thinking engines with stuff on it, see I haven't got a thing about stuff being placed on a computer, it's just liquids that make me shudder when they're placed on a laptop's keyboard, if said liquid sloshes out of it's container then it gets instant access to the innards of the laptop, the next thing to happen is a fzzzssst sort of noise and the computer dies. Simple realy.

"That shop was our last hope..."

"No there is another...."

So you can see here, just as one wool shop falls another will step in to fill the void and so the cycle continues.

This entry was going to be a bit longer than this but I had connection issues with the wireless network here down south, so it's half past eight in the evening and the internet cafe is shut so I'm tapping this out sitting on a bench in the cold, so I'll try again tomorrow.

TTFN

...dribble, sniff,ghhhuu( take 2)...

The V3 is dead! Long live the SE W810i!
Way cool gadget. I can now get rid of at least one mp3 player and one psp and one computer, the digi camera can also watch out, It does so much that you sometimes forget that it can actually make phone calls, incredible as that may seem.

Went into sick bay last week so that they could take a look at a mouth ulcer that I grew, over the festive period. Eventually I got sent to see a dentist instead of a GP, you know what with the dentist being the mouth specialist and all that, well he said it was a nice example of a mouth ulcer and I should use this gel stuff on it handing me a tube of goo. Well the gifts didn't end there, no way. The next thing he gave me was his cold! Cheers mate!
Why can't people who are contagious stay away from work instead of playing the martyred soul and infecting everyone while complaining of "this stinking cold..."
BASTARDS!!!

I mean I've already had my cold, just recently in October in fact (just checked back thru' the blog). It's just sooo UNFAIR!

So it seems that the knitty jedi feel the loss of each wool shop, hmmm.
"it was as if a great many voices cried out and where suddenly silenced" (I think that bit's almost correct).
Rejoice therefore as another one has opened up to take it's place.

Right I'm off back to my sick room, I feel like a typhoid Marry at the mo what with being in the internet cafe. Misery loves company.

TTFN.

Nearly ready...

The decorations have been struck and put away for another year, I'm 95% packed and all I've got to do next is clean down the cooker, do the dishes, finish packing and have a bath ( not all in that order).

Having a late evening meal tonight, the last of the chilli I had in the freezer with some of the awesome chilli jam and rice while waiting for DM to call by. He's actually found some time in his seriously busy schedule to pop by. He's also had a pants xmas this year what with juggling visiting times for his two lads, that and taking his dad to hospital with a suspected mini stroke and a blood sugar level that was out of control. Lets hope things don't continue to run in this vein for the rest of the year.

Damn! This chilli's gooood.

Right, that's it I'm off to check for engineering works on the trains tomorrow, don't want any unexpected events to ruin an already bad day.

TTFN

T'was the night before....

... going back to work day. I'm going to seem like a humbug tomorrow as the deckies come down, ahead of time. but what can I do?

If they stay up till the next time I'm home all sorts of bad luck will visit me! So down will come all, tomorrow.

And if I'm lucky my folks will visit, just depends on what the weather does. Mum's got a sniffle. Would You want your folks to sneeze all sorts over you?

And the correct answer is. "I don't care"

Talk to you soon.

One last thing before bed.

For years I would either be given or buy a diary, write something on the 1st of Jan page, then ignore it (the diary) for the rest of my life!!!

This blog must be blessed then, in that I didn't start it on the 1st of Jan and that I didn't buy it. But I did sort of get given it, it's free from google/blogger, but I did request it, ie sign up to blogger. It's a grey area.

The upshot of this drivel is that you're all stuck with me for another 12 months.

Night night.

oh and TTFN.