Many apple ogies fwor de inkonweenience

Many who pop by these random mutterings will have noticed that I appeared to have had a major falling out with my beloved "T" the other day.

And in a way we did.

She was trying to be spontaneous and funny via text messaging, unfortunately my stupid gland had flared up and I didn't get it.

Then I said something REALLY EFFIN' STUPID!

And things spiralled out of control there for a while and all this just after opening my pie hole a few days earlier and saying the most insensitive things in front of one of her friends, who is now convinced I need a slow drawn out death starting as soon as is demoniacally possible.

So it can be put down to a lack of inter-relationship communication skills, mostly but not wholly on my part.

When I was in the RN my comms skills where very good, but then it was either telling someone to do or not do something, telling a superior officer (politely) why he/she was wrong and therefore a danger to us all, or filling out work completion orders and ordering stores.

Nowhere in all my adult experience have I had to think of feelings (including my own, I found some last month), have to say sorry so many times and wash what I say to another adult through so many mental filters.

For these things and my many other grievous faults I am sorry Tracy. Remember that I do love you for all but 0.001%, for that one small part I still want to boil you in oil, but it's the 99.999% that matters.

SMOOCHES


I love you and I'm very, very, very, VERY sorry.
XXxxXX

Headers of the future

I'm indebted to Ash for his Stirling work in designing and making some new headers for my blog.

I have my favourites, but lets see what you lot think.

I'm gonna use them all, some more or less than others, but depending on the feedback I get will depend on what order they get shown in and for how long.

Cheers Ash.





So cast a vote, cast several infact.

TTFN

Things are still crap, but...

Not much to say except, I keep saying the wrong things.

Like cats?

Then visit this place, http://www.felixmagna.co.uk/home.html

Bengals, my favourite type of cat next to the manx.

l8rs

It's all about finding your happy place....

Hi peeps,

The pics in the last post are mostly from the wedding of two great bods, D 'n' K.

There are some pics of me and one of T (not showing her gorgeous face (as usual)).

And now for the Very BAD News.

How are you supposed to look happy ever again when you loose your baby?
While we where down for the wedding, T had a scan of the baby to check for abnormalities, as you do.
The scanner woman told us that the baby had no heartbeat.

Our baby had died.

T had to have it confirmed at one of the local hospitals and have our baby removed a few days later.
And seeing as I'm still learning to drive her dad came down by train to drive us back up in T's car.
Since then I've been the public face of T&Ed Ltd.

All I can think off is the pain and loss T went through. Yet through it all I've smiled and been brave for her, the boys, our friends the peeps at the lads football and all who know us and what has happened.
I still feel that there are those who know and look at me and must be thinking, how can he smile and laugh like that after they lost their baby?

All I can do is cry.

So now T and me have to find our happy places.

See you soon.

Tracy I love you.
XXXxXXX