The wind whistled all trough the night and other Welsh hymns...

This weekend gone saw myself, T and her lads spending some time at her parents caravan in north Wales.
So that was two things I never thought would happen, happening;-

1. Me spending time in Wales again
2. Me spending time in a caravan

This was no ordinary caravan, you know the ones, the ones towed behind small cars that clog the roads and motorways of this country every bank holiday. Or the ones featured on shows like Brainiac and Top gear, that get blown up (a lot).
No! This caravan was one of those big jobs that you need an articulated lorry to move and a crane to set it into place once you get it to where you want it.
There where hundreds of the things all sitting in the one large plot, sort of like a trailer park but with marginally more taste and style.
To get a better view of the place T drove us up a hill so steep even flies had trouble walking on it. Here are some pics taken while there.

The place had all sorts of things for kids to do, pools, play areas, football and peddle cars and a fair and go-carts, and an arcade full of games.
It only had one thing for the grown-ups to do and that was to spend money like there was going to be no tomorrow.

Still didn't stop us having a great time, with the exception of the restaurant/bar that we had a meal in on the last evening. T had a veggie lasagne, I had steak and chips with veggies, J had chicken nuggets and chips and B had cheese burger with chips and beans.
With the exception of the lasagne it was all cold and generally horrible. When the lads failed to enjoy their meal I would have put it down to them just being picky and that the food hadn't been cooked by their mum but when even a steak knife with an aggressive blade had trouble I began to wonder. My Steak was inedible and so I decided that I'd leave it well alone and have some toast when we got back to the caravan.
It wasn't long after I put down my eating irons that a woman in the livery of the place came along to clear the plates. The poor woman really didn't expect the answer she got when she asked me if we had enjoyed our meal. But in fairness to me, if she had looked at the plates a little more closely she probably wouldn't have asked such a monumentally stupid question as she did.
I drew her attention to the almost whole but now completely cold meals and said that the chips where cold from the moment the meals arrived, the burger had no cheese slice even tho' the menu said it should have one, the nuggets where cold (almost chilled) and that the steak (I now picked up the offending item between two fingers and waved it in front of her) was all connecting tissue that had almost broken the knife and had given my dentists work a run for it's money.
Poor woman was very apologetic, and asked if there was anything she could get us to make up for it. I should have asked for a refund but no. I said that the place had done enough and that we would be leaving and not coming back, also muttering that it was just as well that the caravan had a good kitchen and that I had a jar of Marmite.

Now you would think from the text above that I hated my time in Wales, almost as much as the times that the RN had me and several of my brothers in arms traipsing around in the wilds of south Wales with out dated equipment and rucksacks the size of wardrobes strapped to our backs in all weathers.
Nothing could be further from the truth, I had a great time.

Spent the whole time in great company, visited the Snowdon railway (A HUGE rip off who's ticket staff are retards unaware of the recorded message content that punters get to listen to when phoning for info).
Here are some train and mountain shots,


Phwaarrrr
Now some pics from out of the window whilst on Snowdon,

It doesn't get much better than this


BBBRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

had some really good chippy chips, got to see snow (some of it falling) and got to revisit an old castle keep that I last visited when I was the same age as T's lads.

And here it is...



So that's some long and not so long shots, now for some other shots. And I will not talk about the animal in a hole. Well maybe later.

It's a great place to visit, especially if you're 10 years old or below. There are some great chimney flues to climb up and look into the central fire pit. Don't have any of those pics, sorry.
Ahhh, stuff it, just go to Wales, it's fun, some times.

here is a couple of views from the top, a hydro plant is over the way.

This is a place called "Electric mountain" or in Welsh, Electric Mountain.
Bloody Druids.

However.

Once you get to the top of the Castle Arrrhhhggg, this is the view out of the (incorrectly made windows)
My T shot is missing, she won't let me take her pic. Don't know why.
So here we have another window shot, sort of....

Look! If you make it to Wales, go here. Wherever it is....

It has a really good spiral staircase...So that was Wales, well at least by day.

During the night in the caravan (every night) the wind and rain kept us awake for a few hours. The caravan shook at times as if a crowd of people had turned up and decided to sake us to sleep.
In fact it was that bad at times I thought we'd wake up with the caravan on top of a witch.

Next stop is Hull, for a trampoline gig that the lads need to go to. I'm running behind and just got back from Hull, so it may or may not happen.
Also back to Wales on Wednesday for another stop in the caravan, must remember to pack at least one fan heater.

TTFN

Meditations on scary clown men from the tower

Such a lot has been happening in my pink fluffy cloud filled life since T came back into it that I feel I have neglected my blog. Sad but true.

So to end what was a fantastic weekend in Blackpool blog entry, here goes.


We had a great time.

TTFN

Scary clown men at the tower part 2

So it's Saturday in Blackpool, the weather is a typical north-western spring, so it's dry but cold and blowy and the floor is wet. OK.

BUT

THE TOWER'S OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes that's right chums. Today I get to be a man.

No no no, today I get to go up Blackpool tower. Close I suppose.

Poor T. She has to deal with two 9 year olds every day and now on a weekend break away from them (she loves them more than oxygen by the way), she finds herself dealing with a half tonne shaven headed 7 year old. Poor girl.
Right, everyone please put your hands together for a beautiful and patient (17 years) woman. Ladies and gentlemen I give you (but not literally) , T...
the patient...
the thoughtful...
the gorgeous...
and above all, camera shy T
The only girl I want to grow ancient with.


So off we go, hand in hand (no really hand in hand) from our hotel, down the prom to the tower.
I don't know what is making me more giddy...
T's perfume and her (tiny) hand in mine,
The anticipation of the tower,
or the burger from the day before.
No it's defo the first two.

The Tower. Loads of Iron in various states, put together in a variety of ways and in a style that made this country famous (and a little feared) the world over. And I get to see it with T. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Look ladies and gents, if this gets too syrupy for you then tough, go read something else. The only girl I'd have wed is with me in Blackpool at the top of a lot of engineering. Things might get messy.

So we get in. The ticket is a bit on the pricey side, £12 something each for the adults, although I reckon I should have only paid the child rate, as I was the only 7 year old I saw up there.
On the up side the ticket does give you access to:-
1. The Tower
2. The Ballroom
3. The Aquarium
4. A 3D film show (not the worst I've ever seen)
5. {da, da, da da da, dum!} The Circus (god help us)

Now I wanted to strike a deal with the tower guardians and go up the tower twice and miss the circus. But T would have SULKED, look I'm not being nasty here, for real. I've seen what she gets like when she sulks. It's pretty but annoying. So off we go up the first lift.

The first lift drops you off at the level that you need to go and get the lift to the tower top. Did I mention that you have to go thru one of the most expensive cafes in the world?
Well you do. And at least one member of staff ( a young man who was either new to the job, or high, or both) gave us the worst directions ever (well T anyway, I was too excited to talk properly).
But we found the lift after only one false start. And this is what we saw at the top...
An old style phone box. Look kids, I've seen ones that are older and in better nick, at ground level in Birmingham. So I'm thinking £12 odd for this (remember I'm 7) cobblers.
But lets not forget the view, so here goes...
This next pic I remember seeing the place on Google Earth last year...
The skull and crossed bones indicates the semi-secret hideout of a large group of gougers and their instruments of doom (otherwise known to you and me as slot machines).

If you look from the tower in a landward direction you can see B+B's as far as the eye can see (on the day we went that's about a mile). No pics of that tho'.

Now here is the leap of faith, slightly marred by the fact that the weather had been less than dry and so lots of condensation had formed on the outside of the 2" glass sheet. I stood right in the middle looking down, with the soles of my feet tingling in that special way that screams at my brain that I'm very high up and can I stop being stupid now. T, along with several others jumped over the corner of it, rather than walk across it. But after a bit of gentle persuasion and the promise of a screaming fit by me if she didn't, T finally joined me on the glass, for about a nano second. Brave girl my T.


And now some video, yes it's true this gets better, I know you didn't think it possible but it does, here goes...



And here is some more video of much bigger ants...



The next sequence of photos are taken on the other levels. The main theme that I think they're going for is, "Red lead and Rust".
See what you think...
going up and down steps like these...
and these...
while trying to ignore the holes in the steelwork like this one...
Once you're on the top, or at least as high as the general public get to go, you see things like this...
and you also get to see things like this...
A stairway to heaven.
There is a balcony that is open but fenced in, so that you can walk around the outside and look at the inspiring views. Think Empire state just really really small and a bit grimy.

Anybody would think, reading this that I hated Blackpool, nothing could be further from the truth. I was loving it, just a bit upset over the general state of disrepair the tower and it's outbuildings seemed o be in. Shareholder profits above repair and investment, same the world over.

The top of the tower was well and truly done by myself and T, plus she was getting colder (poor little hothouse flower) so we decided to go down to the circus *flash of lightning* *roll of thunder* *dog howling in distance*
Unfortunately there are no pictures of that for two reasons:-

1. There is no photography of any kind allowed in the circus.
2. The battery in my camera had lost it's charge, rats.

And I was shaking too much in fear of the clowns, it's OK I was quite safe as T was there to protect me.

The acts where as follows:-

• Mooky the clown and his soldier friend
  
• A trapeze act from China
• Jugglers from a European country
• A troupe of "African" tumblers
• Some Russian tumblers
• A balancing act from the UK
• A girl who spun and balanced on a swinging Trapeze
• and a rubber boy from Brazil
  

Only the Russian lads where disappointing, just needed to practice their act a bit more.

The clown picked on a bloke sitting opposite T and me and I breathed a sigh of relief. Poor bloke had to sing the words to "Bob the Builder". But in my head I was playing out a scene from Orwell's 1984 but twisted so that it had me and the other bloke in and I was screaming "Take him, Take him..."

After the intermission the acts resumed and near the end the lights went out and two spotlights came on, each pointing to opposite sides of the seating.
To my HORROR I found myself illuminated by one of the beams.
My mind began to race along with my heart rate. The fight or flight response became very strong.
The clown was going to get ME!!!
Yet still I sat there, obviously my body had decided against the flee option and had gone for the fight option, it looked like I was going to save untold thousands by killing a clown.

They (the clowns) where making bird calls using those whistle things that sit in the mouth, I remember having one as a kid. Then across the ring I could see the soldier clown at the back of the crowd. Oh CRAP! the scary one is behind me!
I can feel him getting closer and closer as the bird calls continue, my hands now two sweaty fists, my body tensed for the pre-emptive attack.

But NO! he goes past me and on to the circus floor. I'm so relieved I almost run off my seat like water. I'm so relieved in fact that I can't remember much of the act except that it ends in some sort of bizarre bird like gay marriage.

Lights out
lights on

The performance area is cleared and the floor drops down then starts to fill with water, all the acts walk around the edge and wave while some music plays and a fountain does it's bit in the middle.
The show ends and we all leave via the gift shop.
I survived.

We go down stairs T and me, to see the aquarium. It's not too bad at all we spend a while there looking at various fish and marine critters.
One in particular caught my eye, I can't remember it's name but it was South American, 18" top to bottom, a little over 2' in length and looked just like a piranha. Turns out it's a cousin of the piranha, but this evil looking thing only eats fruit and veg. Still I wouldn't like to put that to the test.

We finally leave the tower and it's environs and decide to go for a wander in the town. but that's another story.

TTFN

Next entry:-"Meditations on scary clown men from the tower"