Dipsolushious vacation, Hurahh!

Just a couple of things to say and those of you who I'm asking this of will know who you are (does that make sense?).

Ahhh! So that's a pantie girdle?! Good gods that looks 1. uncomfortable and 2. a right passion killer (unless of course your name is Quagmire).

Remind me again why you would want to knit a foot thong, let alone wear one. It would appear that we are indeed two peoples separated by a common ocean (thank Zarquon). Oh come on! We all know what a "normal" thong feels like* so why inflict it on feet. What have they ever done wrong? Pretty colours tho'.

Look lady just get a damned BB gun for that troublesome squirrel, problem solved. I did and can now open the blinds on the french windows without the worrying intrusions of those tree bound perverts.

one last thing to OLPP. Do you pay for your blog? 'cause yours looks far cooler than mine.

*I wore one in the early eighties for a while, I honestly don't know what Mr P.Stringfellow sees in them. Nasty bum floss.

RIGHT! NEXT!

How's my what?! Uvula!? I thought that was in the outer Hebrides, either that or south of a ladies bellybutton. (read that last bit again but with Stewie Griffin's voice)

Lovely photo, but was that the pic of a healthy one or a swollen one?

It would seem that your trip to the cinema was very similar to my trip home the other day, sans kids. Yes it is very upsetting needing to visit the smallest room and not being able to, due to one reason or another (in your case the "ape squad").
There I was on the train from Euston to Lime street, it has 8 carriages, four of which are first class and the other four are standard class. I was in standard class along with the rest of the population of London, while first class was occupied by the four members of staff, two business men, one hippy who got an upgrade on line 10 months ago and a scally pushing his luck.
But here's the rub. I've been busting for a pee since Watford junction, but I thought I'd be able to go on the train from London...
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
The reason I was wrong was because of the population of London getting on the train, a broken loo and the fact that if I left my seat to go find a loo that worked I would have become one of the growing number of peeps that had already lost their seats by foolishly going to the buffet. Not a problem I thought, I've held my bladder in check for a royal inspection lots of times before now (said royal not inspecting my bladder you understand), (or the pee within for that matter).
However I didn't plan for the hour delay somewhere in the Black country, sitting still in the middle of a field, listening to two barking dogs (not guide dogs obviously), one screaming brat and looking at some really dull sheep. Liverpool couldn't come quickly enough (yes with an o and an e, messy otherwise).
When we did get in to Lime Street I was running, from the knees down to the taxi rank. OH! Bliss a taxi ready to go, in I get and suggest a trip through the tunnel would be good for me and the taxi. "Sorry can't talk, gotta' concentrate right now!!!!!" Was all I said till I got home, I just kept humming the national anthem over and over, imagining I was in a squad being inspected and must therefore NOT PEE!
So much time in discomfort for such a short time of pleasure. Really, you shouldn't be that blissed out on you own, there should be a woman involved** if you're going to be that happy. But gods was that pee good for me!

Right. Looking down that gob would you become A) a doctor B) a dentist or C) a tele sales clerk?

the answer is C.

Really could you do that for a living? Looking at infected gobs, ew.

** I am in no way condoning water sports you understand, neither am I not. That must be left to the individual(s).

NEXT!!!

Mid way thru' this, little sis and big bruv arrived. Lil sis whent to bed right away (she's travelling later, I would have said tomorrow but I've just looked at the clock). So myself and a gaunt "big bruv" (although since the age of 8 he's been my little big brother) had a chat. Look I know it's Lent and all that but bloody hell He's lost so much weight! He looks ill, drawn, gaunt, old!. OK it's his bag an' all that but damn! EAT SOMETHING!! Preferably with lard in it. Having said that I can understand why he is so thin here are some reasons, from my point of veiw.

• Wife was realy ill last year
• has a teenage daughter (needs to hire a private eye)
• and a four year old monster in a dress

There endeth this rant.

PPS. thanks to my lack of posts i'm now number 2 on the list when you "google" "ex-veggie", sucks!