Went to sign on to day, I have to do it every two weeks while I look for work so that my national insurance stamp gets paid. Well to day when I got there I was informed that because I had missed the last date the DHSS had cancelled my claim and now I have to start again from scratch. Arse biscuits!
The thing is I didn't miss the date, I stayed up all night prior to going to sign on and it was the 2nd of July. So two weeks after the 2nd is the 16th (today), but today I was told that because I didn't sign on on the 10th they had cancelled my claim. Where the feck did the ten come from
2+14=16?
"No!! Stupid unemployed person!"
"2+14=10 gods dammit"
And of course there is no record of my being there on 2nd anyway, either on the computer or on paper. So it looks as if my unemployment officer is :-
- A time lord with a sick sense of humour, or
- A complete F**k wit, who hates his job and unemployed people.
It's the way the look at you and their whole attitude and demeanour says LIAR!!
So obviously I must have gone to bed that night and not stopped up and then dreamt the whole thing, just like the Bobby thing in Dallas. Gits.
On the up side, my ultraviolet bug zapper has just arrived18:05.
So hopefully this will stop the mosquitoes around here dining out on me. I awoke last Wednesday in a very itchy hell. I had 7 bites all down my left side (two on the foot and they're still doing my head in!) and there is also one on the right side of my forehead that looks like I have a horn coming out. So the first thing I did when I got to the dining room was to turn the computer on and not go to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Five minutes later I had ordered the bug zapper from Amazon.
Just cooked up a big pot of pork stew. Took loads of pics, so later I'm going to edit them into the correct order and do my first, "Cooking with Ed" post. See you there.
8 comments:
Look at the bottom of the bug zapper! It looks like a little distressed face! Oh no! Bugs!
He does look a bit surprised, but it's his job!
KILL all bugs!!
Ah hahahahaha!
By the way, I have a recipe up.
TTFN
ah, the joys of the dole office,there employees truely are a bunch of muppets and fat-handed twats. I've had to deal with them twice between jobs and they just assume that becuase your currently unemployed it means you wear a baseball cap and track-suit bottoms as your best clothes. I purposely wore a suit to go in just to make a point that I have a good education (we'll just gloss over the fact that it was an art school education lol).
And also, the bug zapper is another cool gadget, looks like it could be a transfomrer...what else does it become???
Later fella.
Ashley
Re-garding the DHSS, you missed the whole point of the exercise, and showed a complete lack of understanding into how our government depts. work. They are not there to be insulted, they are there as a job search scheme to take the middle class plonkers of the dole. But dont worry I am sure the same plonkers, will pay you your dues, If they are not overcome by more shit from their own Department heads, who are basically inbreds in the year 2040, by then you shall be taxed for living, and the useless Tories will be in power, collecting scrap mettle. To pay your pension. Best wishes.
'Amazon'... For one stupid second there I thought, "That got here quick from Brazil", closely followed by, "Bet its a good un, those bugs over there can get pretty big!" Hey, its called neurosurgery X3. Of course I'm gonna be a little 'changed'.
Scrap mettle! Does that mean that people have mettle to spare?
From dictionary.com:
mettle:
1. courage and fortitude: a man of mettle.
2. disposition or temperament: a man of fine mettle.
Don't you love it when people leave asshole comments on your blog and their grammar and/or spelling is way off? Seriously.
Collecting scrap courage and fortitude! Nice!
And this is why I love OLPP so much! (In fact, she was kind enough to only refer to the other bad spelling and grammar, as opposed to openly mocking it.)
As a wise man once said, Ed, don't let the bastards get you down.
If the bug zapper doesn't work, you could always try ingesting large amounts of garlic. The added benefit is that, along with mosquitoes, it also repels bureaucrats and vampires. ;-)
If garlic doesn't work then marmite should do the trick.
Damn bug zapper hasn't killed anything yet.
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