Nostalgia

What to watch.....?

I know

BATMAN

Not the new one, or the one with the doctor fella (although I did like Solaris) and definitely not the one with the kids is it (thrush and whacked girl).

NO!

The first one and the only one.

It's showing it's age a bit but by Bob it's still got it.

That being said I still would LOVE to get my mits on a badge that says....


Still haven't seen that movie, speaking of movies back to BATMAN.

Hmmmm

As soon as I get permission for a few things I'll post. Promice.

Also the pics I want are on the mac and I'm in the wrong room.

And in the wrong frame of mind, ie too lazy right now.

Bazilions and Bazilions. For T.

XxX

WW

Hiya.

Can't stop, just a quickie to let you know I'm still about and that T 's friend hasn't had me off'd.

Erm......

Joined "Fat Fighters" 4 days ago and am on the points plan. I have so many points I'm finding it hard to use them all up each day. I have to either eat 3 lard sarnies a day or (and this is my favourite) get hooped every night* (that I'm not with T). I reckon I might drop a jeans size in a month or two, my doctor will be ecstatic as will be my body.

Still loved up with T, BIG TIME.

The boys turned 10 the other day but it feels longer, probably something to do with all the not so subtle reminders, the pleading for stuff, the begging, the strops, the THREE PARTIES!!!!
Those boys have such a hectic social swirl that it's sometimes difficult to keep up with them.
When I turned ten I got a stick and hoop and a thick ear.
Mini football stars, love 'em.

As I sit and write this I've still got my slap on.
Going to a do for Halloween as uncle Fester, see.....


There is some video too, but blogger is having some issues at the moment, so no video for you lot. Sos, all complaints to google please.

Anyway I have a big black robe too, cost a small fortune but I'm sure I'll get to wear it again, even if it's only to be buried in it.

I'm still unemployed. But lets face it I haven't been knocking myself out trying to get a job now have I. At least I can say I'm not a drain on the welfare state as I have been living off my savings and meagre pension. I'll need a job within the next 4 months tho, otherwise it's the workhouse for yours truly.

Bought the young ones on iTunes a few days ago and I look forward to seeing the ones I missed, got series one and two for under 20 quid.
Bill may have pissed me off, enough to turn one laptop into a linux machine but Mr Jobbs is screwing the Brits big time, apple just swap the dollar sign for a pound sign and screw the exchange rate, effers!" iTunes bites.

Before I go....

I love you T, loads and loads.

smooches













* I have moved away from beer and moved to gin and zero cal tonic, yay.

Many apple ogies fwor de inkonweenience

Many who pop by these random mutterings will have noticed that I appeared to have had a major falling out with my beloved "T" the other day.

And in a way we did.

She was trying to be spontaneous and funny via text messaging, unfortunately my stupid gland had flared up and I didn't get it.

Then I said something REALLY EFFIN' STUPID!

And things spiralled out of control there for a while and all this just after opening my pie hole a few days earlier and saying the most insensitive things in front of one of her friends, who is now convinced I need a slow drawn out death starting as soon as is demoniacally possible.

So it can be put down to a lack of inter-relationship communication skills, mostly but not wholly on my part.

When I was in the RN my comms skills where very good, but then it was either telling someone to do or not do something, telling a superior officer (politely) why he/she was wrong and therefore a danger to us all, or filling out work completion orders and ordering stores.

Nowhere in all my adult experience have I had to think of feelings (including my own, I found some last month), have to say sorry so many times and wash what I say to another adult through so many mental filters.

For these things and my many other grievous faults I am sorry Tracy. Remember that I do love you for all but 0.001%, for that one small part I still want to boil you in oil, but it's the 99.999% that matters.

SMOOCHES


I love you and I'm very, very, very, VERY sorry.
XXxxXX

Headers of the future

I'm indebted to Ash for his Stirling work in designing and making some new headers for my blog.

I have my favourites, but lets see what you lot think.

I'm gonna use them all, some more or less than others, but depending on the feedback I get will depend on what order they get shown in and for how long.

Cheers Ash.





So cast a vote, cast several infact.

TTFN

Things are still crap, but...

Not much to say except, I keep saying the wrong things.

Like cats?

Then visit this place, http://www.felixmagna.co.uk/home.html

Bengals, my favourite type of cat next to the manx.

l8rs

It's all about finding your happy place....

Hi peeps,

The pics in the last post are mostly from the wedding of two great bods, D 'n' K.

There are some pics of me and one of T (not showing her gorgeous face (as usual)).

And now for the Very BAD News.

How are you supposed to look happy ever again when you loose your baby?
While we where down for the wedding, T had a scan of the baby to check for abnormalities, as you do.
The scanner woman told us that the baby had no heartbeat.

Our baby had died.

T had to have it confirmed at one of the local hospitals and have our baby removed a few days later.
And seeing as I'm still learning to drive her dad came down by train to drive us back up in T's car.
Since then I've been the public face of T&Ed Ltd.

All I can think off is the pain and loss T went through. Yet through it all I've smiled and been brave for her, the boys, our friends the peeps at the lads football and all who know us and what has happened.
I still feel that there are those who know and look at me and must be thinking, how can he smile and laugh like that after they lost their baby?

All I can do is cry.

So now T and me have to find our happy places.

See you soon.

Tracy I love you.
XXXxXXX

Permenant pics

I think I've just been mugged....

Yep happy is the dad who knows he's a dad and doesn't know what it all means, yet.

T has two lovely lads and now that it's the summer I can see us spending some quality time together, just got to figure out a way of doing it that won't see us all in the workhouse.

For eg, I kissed T farewell at her work and left with the boys for my house.

I felt fairly flush as I kissed T

We met at mine less than 6hrs later and my wallet felt that I had been mugged.

I did nothing.

All the lads had was:-

1. 1 hair cut
2. 2 pairs of trainers
3. (the dreaded) Mc D's
4. A ball
5. Ice cream
6. The bus

And I was over $120 light.

I'm getting to like them and who knows I may love them as my own but at $120 for a big mac, WTF!!!!

Ah, fatherhood.

You know Tom Hanks' character in "Big"? well that's how I feel some times when I'm with them.
A big kid with a paycheque.

Love 'em.


Just been told by T that soon the sprog will be twice the size as it is now, holly hell!

So happy I don't have hair.

Even more happy about my love for T.


TTFN

34mm

That's how big T's and my developing child is from crown to rump.
See for yourself...


We even got to see the heart beating.
This bundle of cells is 10 weeks 6 days and is just over 1/2 the size of my thumb, yet we saw the heart beating!
I only thought that the kicking started when the growing sprog was running out of space. No, the kicking is already going on. As we watched the little thing was moving her arms and legs with gusto. Either swimming or playing football, or something.

Something like that can change a person. There where lots of smiles and "looks" between me and T and the screen. Lots of silent finger pointing towards the screen and then smiles leading to giggles.
"That's ours, that is."

When I said I'd never have children, I did not know I would live so long.

Tracy, I love you.

TTFN

Who knew it was so much fun...?

Wow! What a rush.

Just had my first driving lesson and reached the dizzying speed of 30MPH in 4th gear.

I am the...

What a hoot.

If I'd realised what fun it was I would have learned earlier.

All further lessons have been booked as two hour lessons. More fumes into the air I know, but hey the environment is screwed already.

Wish me luck and keep checking your rear view mirror.

TTFN

Update

A lot has been happening in the world of Ed and some of it goes a long way to explainig why I haven't been as active in this blog as I should.

Firstly there was Ivan's funeral service. This took place in a medium sized church in Richmond on the 26th June. As you may or may not know Ivan was a policeman, a detective constable and a well liked and loved man. You get some idea of the lives he touched when you saw the amount of people who turned out to send him on his way.
About 80% of the people who turned up where police officers of one sort or another, from uniformed officers to fellow detectives and right up to some very senior officers (you know the blokes who run it) with very fancy badges and scrambled egg on their peaked caps. The rest of the people where family, civilian friends, some of the nurses and medics who fought with him in his fight and one or two peeps who knew him about the borough.
It was a send off that did him proud. The MET sent him on his way with full honours. His coffin was draped with the police flag, his cap (in which some wag had written "calm down, calm down" on the inside) was resting on top along with his medal and a small bunch of flowers and the bearers where all strapping lads from the met and all in uniform.
I don't remember much about the service other than feeling really sad and low, but it was a traditional funeral service just as Ivan wanted and with some traditional hymns that I didn't know, it was all very solemn. There was a reading from the bible by one of the officers he worked with (it may have been one of his bosses) and a small story from Ivan's life told by one of his friends about how he (Ivan) met the woman he would later marry.
The service droned on, we stood, we knelt, we stood, we knelt. This sounds awful I know, the way I say "The service droned on, we stood, we knelt, we stood, we knelt". It's just that I lost what little faith I had a long time ago but to Ivan his faith was a thing that was alive, he believed even before he became ill. How do the Christians say it? His faith was his rock. Any way I just let the whole thing wash over me and remembered my friend, remembered Ivan from when we where in our final years at school, our time in cadets and our too infrequent get togethers with friends when we where all grown up and gone our different ways.
I was snapped back to reality when the service ended and his coffin was carried out to the theme tune to "Enterprise". Listening to the words of that song was what finally done it for me. I had lost yet another of my small group of proper friends, the ones you hold dear or the ones that are proper friends because they go way back to your time growing up together at school. Either way I wept. I wept for him, for Francesca, his girls for our loss and the injustice of it all.
A good man is gone yet many of the scum bags he dealt with are out on bail or out on some ridiculous home office early release scheme and back to their horrible ways.
That's what I wept for.

After the service there was tea or something stronger if you wished with something to eat in the crypt. It had been cleared out and extensively renovated to house a large room and kitchen and loos and a wheelchair lift and a nice patio at the the other end. A very nice place.
After that those who weren't going up north said their farewells and those of us who where got in the cars or trains and set off back to the Wirral so that we could do it again the next day only this time at the grave side and then lower him into the earth.
This time it was a little lower key, a small group of family and friends and a local priest. The whole thing was in contrast to the service in London, there the church was full, every pew had a bum on it and they where standing shoulder to shoulder to the door and as far as I could make out, out of the door.
Again (to me) another load of droning words but this time no singing. A small police presence was there, some senior officers from the met and some coppers from there as well as from up here.
The diplomatic escort group from Liverpool police did the escort for the funeral cars, motorcycle out riders with a large police car at the back of the procession with a large illuminated sign in it's rear window that read "DO NOT PASS ME!", a nice touch I thought.

It was at the pub that it soon became apparent to the groups of people there that Ivan liked to keep everyone he knew in small groups and that those groups never knew of the others existence. For example at the wake in the magazine where some fairly high and respected coppers whom Ivan was friends with, yet at the same time there was a few peeps in that room who had not long got out of prison for serious crimes the least being an accumulation of 17 charges of aggravated assault. Then there was people he could talk about science and engineering to. Another lot that where potty for cars of all sorts.
And it seemed to go on like this until you found out that at least one person from one group knew at least one person from one of the other groups, who knew someone else from one of the other groups. It was like a large VEN diagram except that the senior coppers there where like rouge data and didn't seem to fit in anywhere, least ways in no way that they would ever admit.

And now for something completely different.

I have yet to finish putting all the photos from our holiday in Wales in order, along with my thoughts. Also need to tell you something about the lads and their trip to Birmingham for the national trampoline contest, they came 2nd and 4th in their age group.

And finally for now at least I have to report that in February of next year Tracy and I will be having a baby.
We're both hoping for a little girl but will settle for healthy.
So any knitted baby stuff that you may have laying about the place doing nothing, well I'm sure I could find a use for it.

When I come back it will to bore you all with a quick breakdown of the holiday in Pembrooke.

TTFN

Ivan

It is with a heavy heart that I have to report that one of my friends died a few days ago.

His name is Ivan McNally.
He leaves behind a widow and two lovely little girls.

I got the call from Francesca, his wife, on Friday just gone. He lost his fight at 04:30 and his family where with him at the end.

He was diagnosed with a brain tumour which was eventualy removed on his insistence. The thing was the size of my fist and in the left hemisphere.
Just as things where looking good for a recovery another one came along, this time in the right hemisphere. Things went down hill from there.

When he first told me of his condition it was after a long time of us not being in touch, I was so pleased to be back in touch with an old school friend and fellow cadet (he was a Marine cadet and I was a Sea cadet) but it was short lived as the news of his illness and mothers sudden death saddened me more than I can say.
One thing I did say to him was to start a blog and tell the world about himself and his struggle, in other words don't leave it to anyone else, that way the facts will be correct and I'm a lazy SOB who didn't want to do it.
He started his blog and the entries he posted are in fits and starts thanks in part to his treatment, his general condition and weather or not he could be arsed to do them, pretty much like myself on the last point.
I urge you dear reader to visit his blog and get a glimpse of the man we will all miss.

He was with me in the science museum in London last year when I sparked one of the biggest terror alerts of the year. That is recorded in my blog (it's in two parts) and is well worth a read as it shows a couple of pics of the daughters he leaves behind. Read also the visit to the Imperial war museum where you will see some pics of Ivan displaying his rapier like wit.

He was a great many things in his life, son, friend, jocular conspirator, policeman, father and husband. Our thoughts must now be for his widow Francesca and his two girls.

If he can hear me then one last piece of advice can I give him...

"...second star to the right and on till morning."






Do you feel lucky punk?