Well The Earth moved for me...(edit)

And so did the walls, the fitted wardrobes, the roof, the bed, myself and everything else in the street!

It was the first Earth tremor/quake I have ever experienced. There was one that happened when I was at school, but I slept thru' it (ha, my lil sis was on the loo).

Then in my old life/job when a quake happened I was at sea and so never felt a thing.

But at 1am today for the first time ever the Earth moved (in it's truest sense) for me.

It was tiny compared to Kobe or SanFransisco C.1906
But it was the biggest one we've had for 25 years and when you live in a geologically stable part of the world like we do here in the UK it's big news. Here's what the BBC had to say.

As soon as the room stopped shaking (aprox 5 secs), I was up, dressed and out of the house (again aprox 5 secs). I was the only one. Did I imagine that shaking or is every one else on this street a really heavy sleeper?

So when it got light enough I did a survey of the roof and chimney stack from the other side of the street using my binoculars. God knows what the neighbours thought I was doing, acting stranger than normal at 7:30 in the morning.

I'll sleep well tonight (I hope), thanks to the excitement and the anticipation of aftershocks. The aftershocks did happen but where so tiny the only way you'd know they happened would be if you where a really sensitive piece of geological sensing hardware. Or a beetle.

Anyway I'm off bowling tonight, wish me luck.


Here are two clippings from the Liverpool Echo that I would have posted earlier but was too knackered to do due to insomnia.

It may only have been a 5.2 for some but it didn't indicate the arrival of spring as far as I was concerned.

Oh, I got THRASHED at bowling, well and truly. And we even had the side barriers up, oh the shame.

But the grub at Frankie & Benny's was yumtastic. T and I have decided to go there until we have had one of everything from the main menu (and who knows even the desert menu as well).

TTFN

When they make the live action version of Sonic the hedgehog...

.... I wanna be this guy
We have things in common...
We have the same build...

And we both hate that bloody hedgehog!
G'night and don't have nightmares.

TTFN

Cap'n Wii canne take much more...

Looking for a monopod and stumbled across this...



Star Trek on the Wii, two of my favourite things.

The question is, how long can I hold out. Not, should I or should I not get this.

As the Borg say, "Resistance is futile".



Watch this if you're a fan, made me smile loads.

Sweetness and light, I hope...

It's around the buoy for stupid Ed.

My stupid self gets another chance.

So I have to avoid all problems next Saturday.

Ordinarily I'd have panicked and walked away.

Really must try harder this time.

Ready to impress her with my charm and Barry like voice.

Yes I think I can do it.

!?!

WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!

I DON'T WANT A LOT

this just sucks.

Big date ruined by dog egg...

This week has not been one of my best.

I had a date tonight. HAD being the operative word.

I've been looking forward to this day all week and was as excited as a puppy and little else has managed to find purchase in my mind.

A girl from my past, actually tracked me down and wanted to see me again (well there's no accounting for taste) and I for one want nothing more than that we should meet up again.

We have been in almost constant text coms since she found me and when on line and she's not busy working or wrangling two 9 year old dynamos, we email and IM till all hours. That usually ends by me reminding her that she has work in the morning and two young lads to look after. So it's unsurprising that I get the blame for her feeling tired the next day. Some things never change.

Anyway to get to the meeting point she had decided on I had to get two buses, I wont/don't drive (too many loons already on the roads of this fine country), this is going to take a pair or even three hours to get there, what with stops and waiting the 45 mis for the next bus.
I get off the first bus near the depot and walk the rest of the way, making my way to the correct stop for the next leg of my journey. I'd been into town with little sis (she's come up for the week) doing a spot of shopping and finding out what bus I need and to find out where it runs from and to get a time table.

I'm half way from the stop I got off at and the depot, in front of the market, I have a spring in my step and thoughts of rekindling an old relationship. Tonight IS my night.

WRONG!!!

The biggest, over moist, dog egg ruins my night beyond recovery.
There is so much of it and it's so moist that I do what a motorist would call "aqua plaining", thanks in part to these big feet of mine. I remain on my feet (just) and retain my dignity.

At first I think it is a carelessly discarded baked potato, as there is a "spud-u-like" stand that operates during the day quite near to the spot where I slipped. But there is little breeze and the crust had been broken. Oh gods, the smell!!
Just what was the dog that could do this? An Irish wolfhound that has just cleared a two week blockage? A great Dane perhaps, one in more dire need of help than any other dog in the world.

It's been dry in this country for a few days now (I smell more than au de dog cronk here this is fate pissing me about), so the one thing I really need right now is a puddle, even a little one would do! Bloody hell you can't move for the bloody things in this place most of the time. But no, not tonight, Merde!
I scrape as much as I can off the sole of my trainers, but it's not enough, no where near enough. Every bit of tread and some of the side has a generous helping of date destroying, evil smelling brown horridness!!

DEATH TO LAZY DOG OWNERS!!!!
NAIL 'EM UP I SAY!!
NAIL SOME SENSE INTO 'EM!!!

I text Tracy and say I have to go home and scrub this shit off (pun intended), she is far from pleased. I'd even go so far as to say she wont speak to me again (well let's hope it's less that 17 years). She's as mad as hell. She's ignoring my texts and she's not on line. Damn.

What was I supposed to do? Just get on the bus and stink the whole place out? No.
It was bad enough that thanks to my new cologne, I had to stay out side in the freezing night waiting for the bus back home. Let's face it, no taxi would let me in.
I could have continued the journey and met with Tracy, I could have just waved a hand airily at her crunched up, pong assailed face and said, "You get used to it after the first hour or so and I'm sure none of the other patrons have noticed."

No best to go home and scrub with hot water, detergent and bleach.
Then irradiate my hands.


So thanks to Digby my date is ruined.


But the fun doesn't stop there, oh no.
At the depot, waiting for the same bus as me it would seem, are three people quite the worse for drink. Normally that's not a problem for me, I've been in that condition myself on many an occasion (and trust me after I finish this I'll be in a similar state). No, the problem I have is that two of them are in their 60's and should know better and the other is my age and should know better.
I'm in the world of iPod and can't hear what they're saying to everyone who'll listen, I don't have to be, they're being obnoxious and rude to all and sundry and I'm sure they directed a few comments at me, so what.
The old bloke has a full head of wavy dirty, greasy grey hair. His clothing is in a similar state and his nose was that of a bad fighter, a brawler. An old fool beyond help.
With him was his moll and I'm not going to describe her other than to say, if it wasn't for the snide expression on her old face and the filthy clothes she wore she could have fitted in to any sewing circle (see, I avoided saying knitting circle there, don't want to upset too many peeps tonight).
The younger fella looked a bit of the "Jack the lad" (in his youth) and only an over inflated opinion of himself and his ability plus all the booze could excuse him.

The bus arrives and I'm the last to board and I decide to sit close to the three drunks, I figure that when people start to smell the cronk they'll figure it must be one of the drunks who has stepped in something. Not the freshly shaved headed, goatee wearing, freshly buffed and product wearing stallion of a man sitting behind them, who is dressed all in black and is looking ABFAB, but who unbeknownst to them has recently trod in a dog pat.

We trundle along, the drunks wind everyone up and I sit and listen to some choice tunes. I'm looking out of the window at the world going by, it's cold, it's dark and it's dry and it's also taking me in the wrong direction, but I have to go home to scrub.
We stop at some traffic lights and I see a billboard with a huge poster sponsored by the stonewall peeps and bears the legend "Some people are gay." "Get over it." It's done in black and white writing on a red background.
Drunk Neanderthal number 3 sees the poster and thinks it's funny, then eggs on old drunk Neanderthal saying something I can't hear, thanks to my music, but I do see the thumb gesture and know I'll be spoken at any second, by a pissed old fool who should know better. I't's not long in coming. Said fool asks his question, I don't hear it as I still have my ears in and I don't care what this sad worthless dickhead has to say, but in deference to his age I pull out an ear and ask him to repeat his question, he asks "Are you gay?" thinking it to be on a par with Oscar Wilde. He and his chums all giggle as I lean in and say "No" and replace my ear, they stop giggling and talk amongst themselves, upset. I don't care.

My stop. As I get up to leave there is a lull in the music and I look down at the old guys hands, they're covered in the worst tats I've ever seen, not just because they're all old and almost illegible but because there's loads of them and they're all shit and football related,indicating we have in our midst a aged football hooligan, am I supposed to be impressed? Anyway the old bag with them sees me looking and tries to stir it up and says (thru the lull in sounds) that I'd just given him a dirty look and that they should do something about it. They don't of course. But I'm so pissed off about the way my nights gone and the fact that I've let Tracy down I almost wished the two blokes had tried something, because I was in the mood for some pressure release and I could have at least bitten that spud of a nose that old idiot had and pulled out the rings the younger fool has in his ears and nose.

No. I get to go home and scrub brown unpleasantness from the soles of my trainers.


Oh and before I go get good and tight, two days ago my washing machine died.

What's next I wonder? Troubles come in threes.


Have a better one than mine


TTFN

Oh Crap......

It's a little after 8am and the post man has been.

Knocking on the door for all the world as if he was being murdered and was desperate to get inside.

The biggest parcel I've had delivered for some considerable time was handed to me, "what's this?", thinks I.
The recipient and the address are correct (a pleasant first), but this can't be right, the last thing I ordered was a DVD and it's not due for at least another fortnight.
"So what's this box doing here?"

I check the senders address.
No help there.
Apparently it's from a council office in the local government catchment area.

?!

The council are sending me stuff?
Did everyone else in the street get a mystery box?
I check to see if a fleet of post office vans are servicing the street

{up}

{down}

No, just me.


Right.

I've been sent a box (a weighty box), without asking for one, hmmmm.

Into the back yard with it.
I get a small sharp knife and cut through the sticky tape holding the box shut, then spend the next 3 minutes trying to get the lid to open.

It opens.
Revealing a lot of bright green bubble wrap.
Right, it hasn't blown up.
So it's probably safe to bring back into the kitchen.

The first thing I come across is a beanbag shaped in the form of a cute fluffy penguin.

Several tumblers in my head are kick-started and start to spin rapidly, uh-oh!

Next out of the box of wonder is a red heart shaped tin containing some individually wrapped and very expensive looking chocolates.

The first of the tumblers starts to click into position as I reach for the final item in the box of wonder.
A bright red envelope, containing...

...yes a Valentine card.

OH



CRAP!!!


It's V day!


The last of the tumblers clicks into position, with not just the name but the face of the anonymous sender.
Well don't I feel like a heel.
I didn't send her anything, this is going to take some seriously fast thinking and talking.

I may not be up to the task.
I'm in it soooo very deep.


It's not my fault.

For the best part of twenty years, V day isn't something I did.

I'm as romantic as a bucket of ice water down the back.

Normally.


Please help me out with some suggestions that will get me out of the deep deep hole I find myself in.
I have a date with the sender on Saturday, so no pressure.



I found this next one a bit disturbing.
Apparently she likes to microwave small defenceless animals.
Look closely under the word plush, you can just make out the word "microwavable"


I may be in more trouble than I bargained for here.

TTFN

I hope.

Wii porn

A couple of weeks ago I was over at the Club Nintendo site and I noticed a link for this.
It's a jacket for your wiimotes.

So I read the blurb and it said that it could take a while, 90 days I think, for your jackets to arrive.
Mine took a little over two weeks.

I have a somewhat suspicious mind and I find it hard to believe that Nintendo (long may their stars shine) would give these away to every Wii owner on the planet and ship them free of charge, just out of the goodness in their corporate heart.

No.

I think some stupid head didn't follow the instructions about the wrist strap, got sweaty palms during a session of tennis and when he served the ball he magic misiled the wiimote trough the screen of mummy and daddy's 70inch plasma TV.
Then a pissed mummy and daddy tried to sue Nintendo but it got settled out of court and hushed up that little junior sonofabitch is a dufus and has quite a delivery speed.

It's only a theory, just putting it out there.

Any way It's free.

And you can have up to 4.

And they come with a little booklet with the fitting instructions for the hard of thinking.

Just look at those clever little pockets. Full of cushiony goodness.

And now we have some badly taken phots of two of my wiimotes, one with the new jacket and one nekid.

Yum!

I'll give them a whirl this evening and let you know what my thoughts are on them.

And now, a nosey cat...


TTFN

Irish Bond villain

This just tickled me,


There you go dad.

I got chills...

A few days ago I developed a sniffle.

It's now full blown Man flu, complete with comedy nose.
Damn, damn, damn!

On the up side the correct top slide and barrel for my Glock 23f (airsoft pistol) arrived, hurah!
I spent about an hour fitting it and repairing the damage caused when I dropped it on the paved floor. It now works in both modes and doesn't degas after the first shot. I am so proud.
Even the engraving is better than the old one. I think I'll dig out the laser and fit it as well,

You'll have to excuse me, I need to go out and get more tissue for my comedy nose and a nose stick thingie.

TTFN

When lettuce goes bad...

Why do I buy this stuff!

I get it home and put it in the fridge with every intention of using it, but...

It's not a problem in summer, this is just a winter phenomenon.

TTFN

It gets earlier and earlier...

The festive / holy / commemorative times of the year no longer have meaning or purpose.

This is in part the fault of ourselves for falling into their hands but mostly it's down to greedy shopkeepers, from the smallest of corner shops to the biggest Walmart owned affair like Asda.

I like my holidays to be at the times they have always been, the time it says in the diary. I'm not going to rant on for much longer, but some of you may remember when I went to visit niece number 1 at uni last year ( half way down the entry you'll see an xmas tree in September).
Well last night I saw my first Easter egg advert on the goggle box.
It's only the 2nd of Feb!
OK the cynic in me was expecting to see them in the shops the day after boxing day to be honest.

Just makes me SOOOO ANGRY!!
Rant over.

Odd little dream last night, well this morning (what was left of it).
I was having a go with the AK47-M (aeg) that I own, I came up on aim at the box I use as a target, I squeeze the trigger and the next thing that happens is a bright muzzle flash a huge bang and the box blows apart.
Some ratbag had swopped my airsoft gun for a real one! I'm so surprised that I start to wake.
I'm coming out of a deep sleep and I'm almost awake, when my mobile rings, it's loud and right next to me.
I honestly didn't know that it was possible for a man of my size to get airborne from a standing (well lying) start.
It was a text from T telling me what a busy morning her and the lads have had and what a fun packed evening they where all set to have. Cheers for the wakeup text.

It gets earlier and earlier...

The festive / holy / commemorative times of the year no longer have meaning or purpose.

This is in part the fault of ourselves for falling into their hands must mostly it's down to greedy shopkeepers, from the smallest of corner shops to the biggest Walmart owned affair like Asda.

I like my holidays to be at the times they have always been, the time it says in the diary. I'm not going to rant on for much longer, but some of you may remember when I went to visit niece number 1 at uni last year ( half way down the entry you'll see an xmas tree in September).
Well last night I saw my first Easter egg advert on the goggle box.
It's only the 2nd of Feb!
OK the cynic in me was expecting to see them in the shops the day after boxing day to be honest.

Just makes me SOOOO ANGRY!!
Rant over.

Odd little dream last night, well this morning (what was left of it).
I was having a go with the AK47-M (aeg) that I own, I came up on aim at the box I use as a target, I squeeze the trigger and the next thing that happens is a bright muzzle flash a huge bang and the box blows apart.
Some ratbag had swopped my airsoft gun for a real one! I'm so surprised that I start to wake.
I'm coming out of a deep sleep and I'm almost awake, when my mobile rings, it's loud and right next to me.
I honestly didn't know that it was possible for a man of my size to get airborne from a standing (well lying) start.
It was a text from T telling me what a busy morning her and the lads have had and what a fun packed evening they where all set to have. Cheers for the wakeup text.