Oh Crap......

It's a little after 8am and the post man has been.

Knocking on the door for all the world as if he was being murdered and was desperate to get inside.

The biggest parcel I've had delivered for some considerable time was handed to me, "what's this?", thinks I.
The recipient and the address are correct (a pleasant first), but this can't be right, the last thing I ordered was a DVD and it's not due for at least another fortnight.
"So what's this box doing here?"

I check the senders address.
No help there.
Apparently it's from a council office in the local government catchment area.

?!

The council are sending me stuff?
Did everyone else in the street get a mystery box?
I check to see if a fleet of post office vans are servicing the street

{up}

{down}

No, just me.


Right.

I've been sent a box (a weighty box), without asking for one, hmmmm.

Into the back yard with it.
I get a small sharp knife and cut through the sticky tape holding the box shut, then spend the next 3 minutes trying to get the lid to open.

It opens.
Revealing a lot of bright green bubble wrap.
Right, it hasn't blown up.
So it's probably safe to bring back into the kitchen.

The first thing I come across is a beanbag shaped in the form of a cute fluffy penguin.

Several tumblers in my head are kick-started and start to spin rapidly, uh-oh!

Next out of the box of wonder is a red heart shaped tin containing some individually wrapped and very expensive looking chocolates.

The first of the tumblers starts to click into position as I reach for the final item in the box of wonder.
A bright red envelope, containing...

...yes a Valentine card.

OH



CRAP!!!


It's V day!


The last of the tumblers clicks into position, with not just the name but the face of the anonymous sender.
Well don't I feel like a heel.
I didn't send her anything, this is going to take some seriously fast thinking and talking.

I may not be up to the task.
I'm in it soooo very deep.


It's not my fault.

For the best part of twenty years, V day isn't something I did.

I'm as romantic as a bucket of ice water down the back.

Normally.


Please help me out with some suggestions that will get me out of the deep deep hole I find myself in.
I have a date with the sender on Saturday, so no pressure.



I found this next one a bit disturbing.
Apparently she likes to microwave small defenceless animals.
Look closely under the word plush, you can just make out the word "microwavable"


I may be in more trouble than I bargained for here.

TTFN

I hope.