CLEAN LYRICS?! Feck off!

Unless you're the pope, budah or some other holy waste of space, you don't swear.

Now that's good, right and proper.

If however you're mortal and secular you like a bit of emotion in the songs you listen to, I know I do.

So what was wrong with the parental guidance warning on a CD or (and now we get to the root of this rant) iTunes playlist ?

I've just seen a Sex Pistols album for sale on iTunes with the banner "CLEAN LYRICS", W.T.FUCK!

Look, the only way an impressionable youngster could get the album I was looking at would be a combination of:-

• EXTREME luck
• Poor parental care
• Access to mum and dad's record collection and a desire to have it on a format that can be played on modern equipment.
• (Because smoking is no longer cool) Being told about it behind the bike sheds during playtime
  
• Satanic intervention

Having clean lyrics just leaves you with an interrupted musical background to a "BLEEP" machine. It's like my worst nightmare, a phone call to my folks and having Norman Collier running the sound desk all rolled into one.

There are times when only the true meaning of a song will do and I think that Apple are rather missing the fucking point, when they will sell an album by a group called the "SEX PISTOLS" yet bleep the naughty words out, it's like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted. There are large swathes of America where words like 'sex', 'fondle' and 'evolution' will get you shunned from polite society or in extreme cases have you shot through the lungs.
So why can't we have some mild profanity (mild by today's standards) in some cherrished songs from our teenage years.

By all means protect the innocent or young from bad language but when it comes to selling me music on a credit card (most kids don't have a credit card) then I fucking expect the bloody bad language that some twats sang about almost thirty arseing years ago.

I hear the fireworks.

Happy new year to you all.

Rant over.

Oh my god! My hands!

Yes it's late.

I'm gving my plastic a kicking on iTunes.

Waiting for some sounds and video do download and I look at my hands. Well you have to be looking at something, don't you?

My fingernails are clean and longer than they ever have been, what is going on here.

The skin on the hands is clean and smooth and a little shiny, I can see old scars as light streaks.

Holy hell! I've been unemployed for tooooooo looooooonnnnnnngggggg!

While I don't need to work, I should double my efforts to get a job. Something simple, dirty and manual. Maybe a grease monkey or tool bag carrier, or failing that then maybe a teacher and I could just kneed and squeeze grit to get my MAN hands back.

I remember serving on an old steam (war)ship and my hands were mans hands. Dry, dull, rough and a little cracked in parts. The oven mitt was a mystery to me as I could open and close every steam valve in the boiler room without a rag or glove.

Is this retirement?!! Your hands become SOFT?!!

Is this backwards compatible?

Well it better be.

Gotta get this effin Sagem 220x 'cause some wench wont take th' hint.

Oh! for bobs sake, it aint even got a camera.

Thanks to some loon, I may as well get some cans and a but load of string.

What you mean it don't do mp3!

Arse!!

Peace at last.

Christmas day

Merry Christmas to you all.

If you're not of the Christian faith then Merry Christmas.

If you're politicly correct then Merry Christmas.

And to paraphrase the Irish comedian Dave Allen...

"May whatever god you believe in go with you."

Chin Chin

Something something DARK SIDE something something COMPLETE.

Sorry Bezzie.

An early crimbo presie to me.

Please click on the link below just don't have liquid or food in your mouth when you do.

Link


OTHER LINK

Dipsolushious Vacation 2

That's it, I'm off till the 2nd. Yippeee!

And I've finished my xmas shopping and done the wrapping, so now all I have to do is the food and booze trip then I'm golden.
The only down side is that lil' sis wont get her gift until the new year, she's going abroad with hubby for the holiday.


I've even been to a popper traditional butchers shop with game birds hanging up. I went there with the bloke I'm work shadowing, he's a chap who likes his cooking and he decided that this year he was having Pheasant instead of turkey. The shop was preping a couple of turkeys and a couple of other big birds for an order.
They cure all their own stuff and make a range of yummy sausages. I got two venison, two wild boar and four Toulouse sausages along with a chunk of Stilton and ginger, my plan is to use the Toulouse sausages with the Stilton in a light pastry, do some steamed veg and have a glass of white to go with it. Oh yeah!
The shop is called Adams and here's the link, their site hasn't been updated in a year, but they're still trading. Sausage link.
Next time I go I'm bringing my camera, the phone camera would not do it justice.
They even had a motorised Santa in te window that was climbing up and down a ladder, small minds and all that.

So, after that little shopping spree I invited M+P up for a fry up tomorrow afternoon, did I mention the fat free black pudding? Got some of that as well, Paul got it for himself but didn't realise until much later that it was the wrong stuff, he wanted the one with the huge blobs of fat in it, so I got it off him, I'll have to remember to pay him in the new year although I doubt Paul will let me forget.

Right, I'm off to do some top level channel hopping, and a few cans of cider.

Chin chin.

Yes I know it's Christmas, but...

This EFIN' fool has to go.

My soon to be ex-milkman.

The guy is an obnoxious tit. Just because he's up at 2 to 3 in the morning, does that mean I have to listen to him talking to his mate?

No it fucking doesn't.

I felt pity for this fool when the company came knocking, saying that if there wasn't enough peeps to take up the round He would "probably" loose his job.

SACK THE LOUD IGNORANT FUCKER WITHOUT REMORSE !!!

"Poor old Grima's free of him at last"

These last few weeks have not been very pleasant for yours truly and it was all down to one tooth. One tooth that decided it would make it its mission to make my life a merry hell.

Job done I said.

But I wasn't going to take this lying down.
Mostly I was curled up in the foetal position , rocking back and forth in a dark room, with constant sharp pain my only companion.

Well today, after last weeks abortive attempt to remove the angry molar, we have success.

The little bastard's out of my gob and is now in tooth hell!

*manic laughter**rubbing of hands**evil stroking of goatee beard*

Here it is in it's Paper Prison, a temporary arrangement.

On my way home from the Dentists I did some shopping. I wanted something shiny to play with as a reward for being a brave little boy who didn't cry when the nasty Dentist lady put the worlds biggest pair of pliers in my mouth and started to twist my head off.
I settled on a DVD (Shrek 3) and some iTunes vouchers for myself and a little something for the tooth*evil grin to self*.

Here's the little blighter just before he was put in his new home

This is his new home

But wait! Ho NO! His new home has suffered some terrible flooding, things are looking bad for Molar, the flood wasn't any old flood.

It was a flood of a certain well known soft drink, disaster.

Oh well, can't be helped.

I hope it likes the stuff because that's all it's getting. Until such time as I see fit to put it out of it's misery using these

In the meantime...


The anaesthetic has worn off (only two needles this time) but it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did and the best part is it's going to get less and less in the next couple of days, hurahh for evil Dentist lady.

I love my MacBook Pro, but...

Ash, dude you need to do this test.

I was honest in every answer and still scored higher than I thought I would.

28%How Addicted to Apple Are You?

Looking for payday loan?

Then I lied my ass off and got 98%

Some poor soul...

This evening I went to a bash, the bash was for the ex-girlfriend (her 40th) of a mate. It was a hot topic weather he would turn up, he did (late as usual), he had finished with her the week before. She was married to a matlot before and so could give as good as she would take. And so all was sweetnes and light with them.

Some poor soul is the woman who was given VERY BAD ADVICE, by a friend. That advice being that I LIKED her.
The poor soul has been labouring under a misconception.

I'll chat to her, I'll give I.T. advice across platforms and I will be pleasant. But I'm sorry I can never like her more than a friend.

I have felt nothing but DREAD each time she has sent me a text (something she does a lot) What happened to just talking to the person you want to commnicate with?!

I have tried to be distant but not rude, curt but not abrupt.

I regret to inform that tonight I had to be rude.

I basicly told her that I didn't like her at all.

Suckfest for us both.

I'm not good at relationships, especialy not the one she wanted.

I didn't enjoy it. I'm not big on winding peeps up.

She's a nice person and all that but I'm not interested.

I'm safe on this blog as she doesnt know I have a blog, I hope.

Party party

It's that time of year when the office party is upon us, just remember to drink responsibly.
Yeah right!

Here's a little test for you all.

My score is both surprising and dissapointing, but is only as high as it is because of some lucky guesses.
Anyway, try your hand at it and see what you get.

82%LUSH

Looking for payday loan?

Bottoms up.

Drinking my coffee through a straw

Today started pretty badly and stayed that way, oh woe is me.

My day started at 7am, a whole three hours after I managed to go to sleep, well I assume it was because the last time I remember looking at the clock it read 4am.
I'm a bit of a night owl/insomniac when the mood takes me, but last night was not my fault, it was one of my lower right molars, you know the one, with the crack that goes from crown to root and from fore to aft. Well it decided that it needed a bit of company, seeing as it was miserable it decided to make me miserable as well, it's been good these last couple of weeks while I waited to see the dentist again (appointment this afternoon) so she could decide whether to repair or remove it.
The damned thing throbbed all night, that is the tooth throbbed, while the weather outside turned truly nasty. Heavy rain showers mixed with hail rattling on the windows, while the wind whistled all through the night, and other Welsh hymns.
Looked like my first morning of work experience with Scientiam was going to be hard going, a lot to take in, an assignment to understand and new faces and names to get to know all thru' the haze of sleep deprivation.

Crossing the Four Bridges on foot the break in the weather that I was enjoying disappeared. The wind was coming from my right with some force, then came the rain, thin little drops at first (nothing to concern myself with) and then all of a sudden it was as if someone had turned a hose on me, I was soaked all down my right hand side! Perfect, a morning soaked down one side and steaming slightly, that'll send a good impression.
Any way, I got to the place and met up with Paul and the other TDA, whose name escapes me. They will be the two blokes I'll be shadowing for the next few weeks. I got lots of reading material, but I'm not even getting it out the bag until tomorrow I'm just too tired, in fact I just lost a few minutes while typing this.

This afternoon was the appointment with the dentist like I said, a walk thru' the park and I'm there. To cut a long graphic story short, so it doesn't reinforce the "BAD" of going to the dentist for me, after SIX shots of anesthetic in the gum, jaw and tooth root, and a womanly struggle with he pliers, I am in some considerable distress. She hasn't managed to even set the forceps correctly yet!
Mercifully she stops and tells me that he only reason I'm feeling the searing pain is that the root of the tooth is infected, courtesy of the crack/fissure in the tooth (and, thinks I, the two and a half week delay in treatment, but I keep this to myself, she's already hurt me enough for one day) and that I'll need a course of anti-biotics. The infection counters the effect of the anesthetic you see. What joy. And the cost of this dental torture? A mere £48

I now have a face that is half numb and looks like a stroke victim with half a chin that feels the size of Quagmires and as is the case in all such incidents I now have to drink my coffee through a purple bendy straw.

Soup for tea tonight then.

P.S.

The shots have worn off, oh Bob the pain!

Chin chin.

Been there.

create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

43 countries = 19%

Not bad considering some people never leave the village they where born in.

OLPP I need your help...

This was sent to me, I don't know why or who from.
You have expended mental energy on linguistic problems for me in the past or known some one who knew the answer, so here we go again.

Can you, or some other smartypants decipher this...

CresceNet said...

Oi, achei seu blog pelo google está bem interessante gostei desse post. Gostaria de falar sobre o CresceNet. O CresceNet é um provedor de internet discada que remunera seus usuários pelo tempo conectado. Exatamente isso que você leu, estão pagando para você conectar. O provedor paga 20 centavos por hora de conexão discada com ligação local para mais de 2100 cidades do Brasil. O CresceNet tem um acelerador de conexão, que deixa sua conexão até 10 vezes mais rápida. Quem utiliza banda larga pode lucrar também, basta se cadastrar no CresceNet e quando for dormir conectar por discada, é possível pagar a ADSL só com o dinheiro da discada. Nos horários de minuto único o gasto com telefone é mínimo e a remuneração do CresceNet generosa. Se você quiser linkar o Cresce.Net(www.provedorcrescenet.com) no seu blog eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. If is possible add the CresceNet(www.provedorcrescenet.com) in your blogroll, I thank. Good bye friend.

I got the last bit, but what is the rest of the guff?

I know you will help me as you are ABFAB.


Totally unrelated.
In the space of one day, I turned down a job offer over the phone but accepted the offer of work experience from someone else, it's the second option I would love.
It fills two of my criteria:-

• Help youngsters get on in Engineering
• help/teach peeps not to be gits

There are many more criteria that are all dull as dish water, so they don't get a mench.

Just spent 2 hours on Unreal Tournament 2004 (for the mac), FUCKING HELL!!
Why did I ever have a PC.

I think I have been turned to the dark side but I know who is to blame.

It's this man,


*ZAAAAPPPPP!!!*

Guurrrrgllllleeee....

Ash I need help

Love my mac, even with its many, many faults.
Like when it sulks and the net doesn't work and the mac needs re-booting, that happens far too often.
The missing hash key.
The tetris block that does the office of the return key.
The almost invisible arrow keys.
And please tell me, what's the deal with the mouse KEY (singular)

Oh, and whatever acts as the light sensor needs deactivating, as my screen keeps going bright and dark, at times at a frequency that would induce a fit in an epileptic.


P.S. I'll turn the spell check on soon.

Mans knitting.

You may remember some time ago that I said I'd never take up the needles...

I hope to have this jumper done by April.

I wonder what size these are?