Angry blog...

Just finished reading PK's latest entry and by the end of it I was so annoyed and frustrated that I could kick a puppy.
But will someone tell me if the copper in the video clip was actually on drugs. Look at those bloody short shorts. It was so cringe worthy that I had to block it, just in case it's still visible on the screen next time I visit PK.

TTFN

Kitchen (the saga continues...)

Sparky has been and gone. The unit lights are now fitted all my wall sockets have been renewed and repositioned and he's filled the holes he made with plaster so the tiler has a clean shot at the wall when he gets here. It's just as well that sparky is a sparky as I could do better plastering and my last lot fell off the wall after 15 mins.

The counter tops get replaced tomorrow because the part by the sink is a completely different shade and wasn't noticed by the fitter, I had to point it out to him the next day. I hope that the extraction hood cover has arrived at the shop, if it has then that 'll probably get fitted tomorrow too. It's all getting there, also got a new bread bin this afternoon, but it doesn't quite match the tea, coffee, sugar and biscuit jars but it's close enough. But every flat surface in the house has a thick strata of dust, plaster dust, sawdust and finally some more plaster dust, I'm determined not to clean up until the kitchen is done. I know what some of you are thinking and I don't care, so there.

Nephew came around for the day yesterday, to keep his mad uncle company. We stayed indoors all day (well I'm not leaving sparky on his own) and with the curtains in the front room closed, the sunlight was streaming in, reflecting of the tv and blinding nephew. Really it was because he didn't want to be seen by passers by waving his arms around like some demented fool while we played on the Wii. I whupped him good and proper on Far Cry and Red Steel (Hurrah!), for someone a lot younger than I and more used to modern games and controllers he sucked big time. But to be fair he gave me a golf lesson later when we cracked open the Wii Sports box (Huroo).
We had chippy food for lunch. I had chips, sausage and curry sauce (yum). Nephew had chips, battered fish and curry sauce. We both enjoyed it, but for the rest of the afternoon and late into the night, the grease fest that I had consumed was busy liberating vast quantities gas (burp gas). I was in agony, bloated and feeling as tight as a drum, if I burped once I burped a thousand times and not my usual discreet ones either, it sounded like a foggy day on a busy river Mersey. Long drawn out stomach exhalations of biblical proportions, I'm knackered! I was up all night. Next time we get pizza from pappa Johns (my on line account is now set up).
While I was in gas hell nephew and myself watched the one and only set by Tim Henman that day, it's Wimbledon therefore it persists down, tennis go bye bye. On with the Wii. And this is where I get my golf lesson, git.

This post is brought to you from my laptop in the dining room, it's been sulking for the last few days and refused to log onto the wireless network, even though it could see it and see it well. I think my devices do this to me deliberately so that I don't get complacent and take them for granted. It's daft, I turned this one on and while I sat there drinking a mug of coffee and chatting to sparky, the computer said there was no network (as it has been for days) and then all of a sudden, the dialogue bubble appears and tells me that I'm now connected, deep joy.

Just watched the swallows out in the back garden for a bit, it's like they're constantly racing each other, up and down the length of the road and back. They seem a lot more active when it's windy, when they don't so much fly as get blown about with style. And I swear, that if you stand still the little sods use you as some sort of way point and swoop down low over your head.

You MUST see this, I want, no! I NEED THIS.
Cheers Ash.
www.perceptivepixel.com

Ah! Oh, dear me. Excuse me I've just arrived.

Sparky

I'm doing this on the Wii so it wont turn into a rant.
But, the Devil take tradesmen!

11:30

"I've just got to shoot off for a couple of hours".

6pm.

BASTARD!

Cooker

The sparky has just left and I now have a fully functioning gas cooker and hob. Hurray.

I also have some bloody great holes in the walls for the new power sockets, but they get sorted tomorrow.

Looking for floor tiles later.

TTFN

Should I stay or...

...should I go?

That's the other blog not this one.
Follow the link in the column to the right labelled "Total Bilge"
Should it go?

The first of many

This just landed on the mat...













It's my first pension cheque.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to say DAMN YOU TAX MAN!!

The plumber has just been and it's looking good for the new shower and bathroom trio.

Ash, you know you need this.

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Oh, and thanks for the Nelson email, I think I'll put it here....

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the
meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her
duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious
persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities
employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the
censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free
working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with
it........... full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest
please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness;
and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let
anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck
Admiral."


Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free
environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in
the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let
the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone
breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the
men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of
legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners
now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in
this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying
that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your
King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural
age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your
life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on
corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."



Cheers A.

The leviathon of Central park...

Today I decided that I would leave the kitchen fitter and his lad on their own for a while, so that I could nip to the shops and get two things.
Thing number one, was to visit the cycle shop on S****** Rd and get a pump for my bike (that I haven't used in ages), so that I could put air in the tyres and actually get some use out of the bike that just sits in my hall gathering dust. Surprise, surprise, the shop is long gone. I knew the shop was on that road and roughly how far along, so it's now either a charity shop or the headquarters of the local conservative party. Very little sets them apart as they're both deserving of our pity and charity.
Thing number two, this was to go to Subway and get lunch. A six inch veggie pate on wheat bread with cheese, loads of chillies and some chilli ketchup.
"Sorry no veggie pate today."
CRAP! I'll have tuna instead, but with onions instead of chillies and with 1000 island dressing, hold the chilli ketchup.
"Sorry no wheat bread."
Buggeration!! Oh just put the filling in anything then.
The things I have to put up with just trying to get lunch.

So, returning home thru' the lovely park in the bright sunshine, past the football(soccer) and cricket pitches, I head towards the small lake, you may remember some pictures of geese a while back. I see a couple blokes sitting at the waters edge but several meters(yards) apart, both surrounded by their fishing gear and each with a line into the water. I find myself thinking of the past all of a sudden, not something I'm prone to(forwards not backwards). The memories that stir are of me as a young lad, a lad out with his mum on a similar sort of day, I'm about 5 or 6 years old and I have a little net on a bamboo cane in one hand and an old jam jar in the other with some lake water in it. Yours truly was hunting for sticklebacks and tadpoles and I remember that I wasn't very lucky with regards to catching anything, but that didn't matter, it was the hunt that was the fun part, things in jam jars usually die young so I would probably have been told to put them back in the lake by mum prior to us going home anyway.
It was while I was back in the past and my body was on autopilot navigating it's way alongside the lake on the footpath that another part of me was thinking idly to itself, it was thinking or rather asking a question,
"I wonder how deep the lake is? It can't be that deep, can't see the council looking after a deep water lake in the middle of a town"
I was brought back to reality and the present rather sharpish, a nasty way to arrive for either, but both! What surprised me was the biggest fish I've seen that wasn't either in the open sea and dashing ahead of the prow, or gutted and cleaned in the fish market. It leaped out of the murky water to a height of at least 4 foot from the surface and then again this time a bit lower.
I just stood there rooted to the spot with my jaw on the floor, looking at the expanding ripples that indicated where the leviathan had slipped beneath the surface of the lake. On the opposite bank one of the fishermen was laughing his head off, he obviously knew such fish lived in the lake (otherwise why would he spend his days with a line in the water) and took great delight in seeing someone in shock and no doubt logging it for discussion with his fishing pals in the pub one night.
So that big fish answered two questions that sometimes cross my mind while I cut through the park, they are;
Q1. How deep is the lake?
A1. Deeper than it looks, at least 4 foot to allow such a big fish to lump so high.

Q2. Why do these blokes sit around this lake all day in all weathers with a line in the water, surely there's naught but sticklebacks and frog spawn in there?
A2. BLOODY GREAT BIG FISH!!!!

TTFN

On the orogin of silly beards by means of unatural selection...

...or the preservation of favoured faces in the struggle for colour.



You know the other day I said I'd gone blonde? Well now I've gone reddy purple.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
Firstly just getting to a very light blonde/ginger was two skin blistering applications of hair bleach. I really should have stopped there, I really should have as I now have two weeping stripped blisters on my face, luckily they're both hidden among the bristles and are invisible to the casual observer, just as well really as I'm sure they would make horses bolt, women to faint and children to have nightmares.
The madness doesn't stop there, oh no. My thinking (and I use the term loosely), was that the bleaching was going to be the worst part of it, it's a harsh process and I was prepared for some discomfort. Some discomfort, not the amount that I actually got, but where there's no sense....
Anyhow, the dye. Ah yes the dye, the easy, gentle part of my transformation into "oddball with purple goatee".
AAGGHHHH!!!
Good gods, that was dumb! Really, really dumb!
I was meticulous about the time the gel mix was to stay on, 40 mins, and as soon as the timmer rang I was already at the full sink with some soap and plenty of water. I have the white towel that the dye box suggests that you have so as to see that all excess dye is out.
Three rinses later and the water runs clear from my beard on the fourth rinse, so white towel to the fore and I start to dry off in front of the mirror. The beard is nearly dry so I decide to stop towelling it dry and comb the knots out of it. Hmmm, what's these white bits? Bits of towel? Ah no, they're bits of rubber?! Where di... Hang on!! it's SKIN! Arse biscuits.
Half a tube of Tea tree and Witch hazel, applied to the face and I find some comfort from the burning irritation I feel. I'll have to go out later to get the continent sized tube a bit later.
If I can I'd like to keep the beard but if I have to I'll shave off and see if it helps any.

Got to finish here as the kitcen guys have just turned up, local time now-10:34

TTFN

Pictures

From now on, every once and a while, I will put some pictures down the side of this blog for your pleasure (or not). I hope you enjoy them.

I've gone BLONDE!!!!

Hello pals, it's me again.

It was a friend's birthday bash yesterday and a jolly good time was had by all. It gave me the opportunity to catch up with some old friends, meet his new missus for the first time and to finally meet his landlord, the eponymous "Dr Death". Dr Death got his nickname from the fact that he is about 6'2" (he'd be about 6'5" if he stood upright instead of lurching around in a permanent stoop), his eyes I am informed are always, always bloodshot (Christopher Lee's Dracula stylee), he takes prescription pills bought over the internet, on top of the ones his doctor prescribes for his panic attacks and crippling agoraphobia. His 80 year old mother still does his washing and he also leaves food stuffs to go off, off to the point that I was at a loss to work out that what I was looking at on one trip to my friends digs, I thought it looked like a magnified picture of a Petri dish, it turns out it was a pack of 6 bread rolls. I lack the skill to describe what eventually happens to an innocent steak when left on the counter for about a month and a half.
Anyway, we started in the Cask and ended up in a working men's/pool club, the next thing I know is it's 3am and we're leaving to go to my mates missus' house so we could all get taxis home. I feel that I had as good a time as my friend did but by bob I'm paying for it now and it's 5 to 11pm, I have felt dreadful all day, natures way of telling me that I'm not 25 any more and can't get away with such activities, ho hum.

So as you can imagine it was a rather late start for me today, pity really as I had such a great deal to do before tomorrow, not the least was to go to M+D's and give D his father's day card and present. I felt really bad that I couldn't stay longer than I did, but I had to come home to empty one final cupboard full of crap and wipe down the walls of the kitchen prior to the kitchen fitters coming tomorrow morning. I've done most of the walls but I had to stop or I was going to kill myself, you see I don't have any step ladders and so had to use a wooden chair from the dining room, a very old chair, so there I am standing with one foot on the chair, one foot on the counter top and reaching over the cupboards at full arm stretch. So after the second heart stopping slip I decided that I wasn't quite ready to leave this realm and stopped. At least it's given me time to do this.

I've gone blonde as well, well my beard has, ok a very light ginger then. But my beard is now light enough to take a dye and as soon as the purple dye from Urbanity arrives I'll show you all.
The bleaching kit I got worked very well indeed, especially after two applications, face stung a bit on the second application. I found out the next day that some blistering had occurred, as my beard was matted in two small areas, it's all better now and in a few weeks I'll give it another application to get it lighter before putting the dye in it.
Oh! and here's the important bit that I paid no attention to, don't keep the mixture once you've mixed it and then used it! I did. I even put it in the fridge to keep it cool in case it did react in it's little plastic bottle with an unstopped nozzle. The next time I see the little plastic bottle (about 18hrs later) the contents are now filling the bottle tray of my fridge and still oozing out of the bottle thanks to some bizarre exothermal reaction. Shit!
But not to worry none of the cider was ruined, oh and the food was ok too.

Just listening to Eddie Izzard on the radio while trying to type this, it's an audio broadcast of a show he did in New York. Very Very funny stuff. The first division, transvestite platoon, the guy is Brilliant. He's just finished the first part of the gig and gone into the interval, only trouble is the interval on this radio station is a week long, damn!

At the risk of offending any baseball lovers out there, I will now combine a theory and a question, and ask a question of the American national game.
Is baseball the bastard child of cricket and rounders? (a rather dull game mixed with a game played by small children?)







The pics are from the park near my house and I took the images on my phone, hence the reason that the quality isn't that good. The local cricket team playing some guests.














Now it's time to find out if blondes do have more fun.

I'm off now to check my blogmates sites and then to bed.

Nighty, night.

OK I promised, I lied...b

Here is something I found on my phone, something from my past, my recent past I will admit, but still my past.
Ah hell I'll show it to you later.

I'm sitting in the front room watching one of those police stop programs, about scum that get off all to easily, you know, the sort of scum that are all unemployed and will be from birth (it's probably built in to them by now at some genetic level, they've all been lazy for that long in their family that they stay unemployed) capable of work but unwilling to sweat for their cash, the sort of shagwit that knows what to claim for (from birth) and how to get it, the sort of gobshite that says as he/she is being restrained for his/her crime, "I'll get my solicitor on you!"
NO! YOU WILL GET A COURT APPOINTED LAWYER YOU CRACK HEAD AND THE STATE WILL PAY!
And they all get ludicrously lenient treatment from the courts. I don't get it! The DHSS pays their fines. Don't fine them. BIRCH THE BASTARDS!!!
The nation saves money and a message is sent, "act like a dickhead and you place yourself one step away from being removed from the gene pool on a permanent basis!"

Because for murder, rape and kid fiddling that should be instant execution!
Cause a disturbance of the peace more than 4 times in six months and/or assault a police officer, yeah, 3 strikes and you're out. Out as in life (executed for those who are hard of thinking). Lethal injection. Let's see if Darwin's survival of the fittest model works, we get rid of the chaff of our life and lets see if all the good people suffer less, and if society improves (I'm betting that the world will get better, if we rid ourselves of the scum we keep seeing on our screens and that includes those ass holes who appear on any of the Big Brother shows (all over the world).

Yes I have a lot of anger. And I don't want to turn this blog into something it's not.
But things get to me. The sort of things that I can see a solution to yet LOSERS (politicians), can't see for their own hype and bullshit!


And now, this!
Yes badly made and hardly Earth shattering I will admit.

PK hear is how I sound at my most dorky.

This made me laugh...

I promise a proper post later on, but for now have this...



Whoever did this is a genius.

I WANT THIS!

Is this real? I hope so.

At the risk of being a Wii bore...

I was doing a spot of shopping this afternoon, with one aim in mind. Find and buy "Play" for the Wii.
It comes with a free controller, I now have 4 (my set is complete), once I'm finished here I'm off to play.

While I as in town I decided that I would make some spicy tomato and lentil soup when I got home, so off to the market. Two tuna steaks, two lamb steaks, a prime cut of sirloin and a carrier bag full of ripe tomatoes later I was ready to go home and start the soup. It is ab fab. I looked on the web for some recipes but all of them wasn't what I wanted or felt like doing, even J next door offered a recipe but sadly that one needed some oven work, I only use the oven to do casseroles and I don't bake.
So I winged it, just like most of my life and by George it's good.
It's got the following in it:-

• carrot
• celery
  
• onion
• garlic
• 2 Mexican oxo cubes
• a generous squeeze of purée
  
• some lentils
• 2Lts water
• a shitload of toms

Yum. That's tomorrows lunch sorted, after I had portioned it out for 8 portions to go into the freezer leaving me with two for tomorrow.

My mate, I, has just started his Blog. The name doesn't exactly roll off the tongue tho'.

thebastardchildofgenehunt

Who is Gene Hunt?

Do we care?

Night night chums.

Dave you ROCK!!

This post is brought to you from my PSP. Now all my gadgets conect to the web and I have big D to thank. You rule.

So that's how you do it is it? / "But I don't want any money"...UPDATED

Quotes from a great man, even if some of his ideas have since been debunked.

Went and signed on today for the first time since leaving school. Can you believe the cheek of these people? They actually want me to go back to full time employment! Or I won't get my job seekers allowance, I have already told them to stuff it and that I consider myself as semi retired, that I didn't want any state handout, all I need for them to do is pay my national insurance stamp. Then the slap in the face arrived, "If you don't make the effort to look for work AND report in every fortnight we stop your stamp."
WTF
It was then rather casually suggested that I should PAY the stamp myself, the cheek! and again WTF!!
I consider that is the least a nation can do for one of it's veterans, the paying of your stamp. Obviously I was asking too much and I'm sorry, like hell I am.
They also wanted to know every little detail about my finances, I had to supply all sorts of statements (pay, bank, mortgage, investment, savings etc). They now have a greater understanding of my finances than either myself or my account manager.
Bastards.

Well I am coming to the end of my mega extended holiday and am now thinking of getting some sort of job, only thinking mind.
I would like to get into H&S like I've said before. That may not be possible. Today I logged on to their website to see what was available, the quick answer is feck all if you don't have a degree, "A good one in either engineering or a science". So no good in swatting up on ancient pottery then?
So it looks like the NEBOSH certificates in COSHH assessment and Workshop assessing and managing safely can now be used in lieu of loo paper. Not to mention 22 years experience in a wide range of engineering situations counting for nothing. It was certainly a kick in the confidences reading their website. B+Q here I come.

Also today I put in my application to join a doctors group practice. I have to phone back on Wednesday, probably to be told, "Sod off! sick note"
Well we shall see soon enough. At least one thing is sure and that is I have more chance of becoming the space pope than getting taken on as a NHS dental patient in the area/countRy*

On a happier note I made a big pan of that Persian stew I like and will be portioning that out in a bit and popping it in the freezer for ron.

Also now that I know how to post youtube stuff on blogger I'll have to get a youtube account, then you can all stand by.

Visit the link below for some wonderful Lego men animation with a Wii twist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eEF9V8gNbQ


TTFN

Two out of three...

Three things should have happened today but only two did, isn't it always the way of it.

The new component cable for my Wii arrived this morning, hurrah, and the picture quality has improved a bit, not much but it has improved. You have to remember it is a Nintendo and so the graphics are a bit cartoon like. Now all I have to do is to persuade the damned thing to connect to the internet over the wireless network that it CAN see and see WELL. I'll give it a while longer before I send it back to Amazon.

Next on the list of three was that my ancient analogue tv aerials where replaced this afternoon. The one that replaced them is huge, has an amplifier and does the job of the two old ones but much, much better. The picture on the plasma has improved to the same standard than it was in the shop the day that myself and Nephew viewed it. Also I can get all the channels I should have been getting from the start but couldn't thanks to the two bent coat hangers masquerading as antennas. The day keeps getting better and £130 well spent (first quote was £200, like that was going to happen).

I've just had to stop and answer the phone, only to be confronted by a rather slurred voice demanding to know who I was. Not the strangest of phone calls I've had. I asked him what number he had dialled, he told me and he was only out by 2 numbers, it was then that I remembered listening to an American comedian on the radio who was put in a similar position and decided to mess with his callers mind, he did this by saying that the caller had dialled a different number, a number that had none of the digits that the caller had claimed to have dialled. He then does an impression of the caller asking his wife to dial as he thinks that he had the phone upside down or something. Well that's what I just did to the drunk/stoned bloke who demanded to know who I was (it's funnier when told on stage by a professional and not typed badly by an oddball).

Hang on a sec, the telly is on in the front room and some god awful show with Graham Norton in it is on, I've got to turn it off before my mind melts, excuse me a min.


Right I'm back, I've put BBC2 on and am now listening to "Coast", much better.

The third thing that should have happened today is the arrival of a plumber/bathroom fitter to have a look at my shower and to give me a quote on replacing a bath, sink and loo. Like I said 2/3 isn't too bad. There is nothing really wrong with the bathroom trio, they all work. It's just that they're a bit dated, you look at them and you can almost say to within a year when they where fitted, lets see if you clever people can guess the decade if I tell you the colour, it's BROWN. I like the look and layout of my bathroom (and the fact that the loo is in a room of it's own) It's just the colour has now got on my wick and has to go.
The kitchen gets done this month, I can't wait. 10 days and counting.

My house backs on to a park, a park that has allotments and I'm pretty sure that someone has just fertilised their plot as it now smells distinctly rural in my kitchen, as I sit here typing this with the sliding door open to let in a slight balmy evening breeze (the weather here today has been redders).

One last thing before I go. PK, your email link on your blog isn't compatible with firefox, well not with the one on my machine, and so I couldn't mail you, ho hum.

TTFN

PS

Just checked my email and was the proud recipient of my first scam email here is the text as was in the email. How stupid do they think we are and how did this piece of crap get my email in the first place?!

From: MichaelKwasi.
Manager, International Commercial Bank Ghana Limited.
First Light Branch,
Accra, Ghana.

Attn: Friend

I got your contact during my search for a reliable person to entrust this huge transfer project with.

I am Michael Kwasi, Manager, International Commercial Bank Ghana Limited, First Light Branch, Accra-Ghana.

I write to solicit your assistance in a transfer deal of US$2, 850.000.00. This fund has been stashed out of the excess profit made last year by this branch of the International Commercial Bank in which I am the manager. I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2006 to my head office here in Accra and they will never know of this excess.

I have since then, placed this amount of US$2,850.000.00 on a Sundry account without a beneficiary.

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request your assistance in receiving the funds as the rightful beneficiary.

I intend to part 30% of this fund to you while 70% shall be for me. I do need to stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It's going to be a bank-to-bank transfer. All I need from you is to stand as the original depositor of this fund.

If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response.

With Regards,
Michael Kwasi

What a prick!

I'm such a ....

....GREAT BIG GEEK!!


My new toy, a camera for the PSP. However it does have rather bad habit of making my PC very unstable when I transfer the pics across and try to view them. I'll work something out.

NOW FOR A VERY STERN WARNING.

If you value your eyes. Don't scroll down.

No, I really mean it.


You have been warned!

































.

















Last chance.



























.

















I did try to warn you...

A flat spin...

...is what I'm in at the moment.
I thought I'd get the ball rolling in respect to registering as unemployed and therefore getting my stamp paid. An hour and a half on the phone chatting to some bod from the DHSS to get an appointment with someone from the job centre next Monday. Oh and I'm getting "job seekers allowance", I didn't think I'd be entitled, for two reasons.
1. I'll soon be drawing a forces pension (an income, am I right?)
2. I thought you had to be actively seeking work (I'm still on dipsolushous vacation)

Anyhow, I'm now stuck next to the phone waiting for a call from the job centre (10 mins to go and then they're adrift). Said call is to finalise some questionnaires and details about me and to confirm the time and day of the face to face appointment, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation.
Now on to the reason I'm in a spin. I was told that I'll need two forms of ID with me when I go to the interview at the job centre next week. Fine thinks I, I'll use my passport and my discharge note from the navy.
Right if I where a passport or a discharge note where would I hide? I think the last time I saw them was when I took a trip to Pompy the other month to visit D,K and A. And to visit HMS Nelson's sick bay for a last lot of pills.


As I wrote that last bit about the pills my inner monologue said to it's self,
"hang on a mo, the passport and discharge note aren't in the paper bags with the pills are they?". "did I put them in there after I left the pharmacy?"

First I stop typing, then my head swivels round and I look at the bags on top of one of the kitchen cupboards, "nahh, surely not".
Up I get, stroll over, reach up, look in first bag, "Nada!", look in second bag, "Thank Feck, found them!".
What a relief. I thought I'd have to dismantle the house to find them, that's saved me a job then. I'll have to text D and cancel the request that he check his place (spare room), just in case I left them at his place.
God's I feel like a right wally.


I think I'd like to unwind with a nice big mug of milky tea about now.

TTFN

get it if you can...

Let me see now.
HOLY CRAP IT WORKS!
I've done this entry using the Wii, I love this toy. Downloaded some free software using the wii shop that gives you the Internet and as you can see it's not just a dumb browser. Still, I wouldn't want to do many entries using the remote, but it should increase my skill with the remote.
See you all soon in a proper post.
TTFN

Who fancies a Wii? cont'd...

It was morning, but when? How long had I slept in after exhausting myself on the Wii the night before? Where's the damn mobile? Right, here it is (opens phone).

SIX BLOODY FORTY BLOODY TWO!!!!?

It's still the middle of the night. The day shouldn't be allowed to be that bright that early surely. (Yes it should and stop calling me Shirley.)

Well wasn't it lucky for me that I had a busy morning ahead of me so that I could capitalise on my unexpected early start. It's turned out nice again too.

First was a trip to the post office, to pick up a package that they couldn't deliver (they needed my signature). The reason that they couldn't deliver was because I was out shopping, actually buying a spare controller for the Wii which was what they where trying to deliver, such larks.
Next it was over to Birkenhead, to see if I could get the nun chuck fitting for the two new controls . You'd think I'd have learned by now wouldn't you. All I achieved fas a visit to the same dumb shops and the same vacuous, spotty faces telling me what I already suspected.
"No. Sorry. Try phoning tomorrow, we get a delivery tomorrow. Bye". Gits.
That wasn't fair of me, it's not the shops fault, they can't get the consoles or the peripherals because Nintendo(om) only make 5 a week.
Well I will do the phone run round tomorrow. Then When I get thru listening to a series of negative replies I'll do what I feel like doing now, going to Amazon.com and buying the add ons that they will have in stock.
While I was over in B'head I took a new game to Game for a trade in. It was Medal of honor 2. The reason it went back was because every time my GI landed he would automatically point his gun at the north star and then spin round and around like a dumb ass all the while getting shot to bits. 2 hours of this and some other equally irritating and baffling behavior and I was ready to hurl the console thru the telly.
So a change of game was called for, enter "Blazing Angels", tricky but not impossible. So MoH2 was changed for "Wario Ware- Smooth Mooves", it's just daft, but good family fun (it's getting another outing tonight).
When I got home Nephew was waiting for me, I was late getting back and while we had a round of golf in the front room the game I ordered on line arrived, "Red Steel", it has a slight cartoon/manga look to it and is like a Kill Bill Sequel (fighting with Samurai swords{awesome} and of course big guns), again the controls are tricky but will get easier, I hope. I doubt I'll ever be as good as the adverts suggest it's possible to become.

Dad popped in for a few hours this afternoon after he'd dropped mum off at the hospital, she's in for a scan on her gallbladder and should be out tomorrow. I'll drop down tomorrow with some flowers and see how it went.

Just having my evening meal while I type this, it's an Aberdeen Angus prime steak (rare) with a bit of salad, yum. Also using some Jack Daniels bar-b-q sauce, thanks to D n J next door for putting me in the way of a bottle. Also I'd like to thank D for giving my Wii access to the wireless network, you rule.

Only an hour to go before England gets humped by Brazil at Wembly, I may flick between the game and the Wii. Damn this steak is good.

TTFN